Simon Campbell

Finding a boat: Arctic Janus

Foolishly, we decided to take the ferry and drive to Eckernförde. On the map it didn’t look very far… as Joe, Angela and myself were going it appeared more cost effective than driving to Liverpool airport, secure parking, flying to Hamburg hiring a car etc etc. We also thought we would see more of Germany and Holland on the way.

I know this article is about finding a boat but it’s worth just expanding on the journey as it was pretty funny.

The trip out…

When we booked the DFDS tickets on-line there were a bewildering array of choices of accommodation and food – I did what I thought was best – but as you will see, my judgement was hideously flawed.

The journey to the International Ferry Terminal at North Shields takes around two hours and we set off in the early afternoon, arriving there in good time to join the queue in the DFDS ‘cattle class’ lane.

Eventually we drove onto the car deck. The man in control beckoned me to within 200mm of the car in front and then chocked the rear wheels; he obviously knew something we didn’t. ‘Team Campbell’ removed our overnight bags and left via the nearest exit; trying to be efficient, I noted the exit number for the departure.

The crossing from Newcastle to Ijmuiden (Amsterdam) is overnight and we had chosen to travel on the Thursday evening before Good Friday. We emerged onto the ‘reception deck’ amongst teeming throngs of bodies preparing for an all night session. It was party time for sure.

On the outward crossing there were no ‘three berth’ cabins available. Joe was therefore relegated to an inside cabin and Angela and myself took the double ‘sea view’. Joe’s cabin was pretty big for a single, ours was diabolically small where you couldn’t swing an ant, never mind a cat! Leaving the bags and being interested in things nautical, we thought we would witness the casting off so we headed off to the stern.

It was very windy; I had taken a look at the forecast before I set off. Force 6/7 Northerly so it was going to be cold. At least we were travelling mostly south so we were going to experience a following, and therefore relatively smooth, sea.

Due to the direction and speed of the wind the skipper / pilot had a tug pull the stern of the vessel around in the rather ‘tight’ dock. Unfortunately the crew had chosen the wrong ‘bitt’ to secure the line. As the boat swung around, one of the port side railings were totally trashed by the hawser that was the diameter of Popeye’s biceps. Leaving the cursing crew, we looked for the bar. Always a good place to start.

The ‘Princess of Norway’ is big but made even bigger when you can’t make head nor tail of the layout plans that were devilishly difficult to decipher. We eventually made it to the ‘Columbus Club’, standing in awe at the sight before us. The room was big and packed with people ripping into beers as if it were the end of the world. Also the resident band had just fired up; I really feel for these guys as it was a mighty difficult audience to deal with.

We decided the best people to sit next to were a group of very hairy looking Hells Angels (and that was just the women). My band experiences have taught me that there is no better place to be. They are usually funny, chilled and very good to be around if it ‘kicks off’.

I don’t drink cider. It has a very bad effect on me, turning me totally crazy. Tonight though I fancied a pint, so went over to the bar to join the long queue (10 minutes). You always think that bars on these ships are duty free and therefore inexpensive. On the contrary, here DFDS screws you like a cheap whore (I have never understood that expression, surely that’s what you are paying for, but in this case very appropriate).

Well I had a couple of pints and as the resident band cranked into ‘Simply the Best’, I suddenly felt the urge to stick my thumbs on my head, fingers splayed – making like a reindeer – and have a sing along. I then started to repeatedly slap myself on the head like a chimpanzee. The very straight young couple opposite us who hadn’t spoken to each other for an hour were horrified and didn’t know where to look, the bikers laughed and Angela dragged me away to eat before I went totally gaga.

The ‘Blue Riband’ À la carte restaurant on deck seven was horrendously overpriced and the food, poor, microwaved fodder. This did surprise me as the last time I was an overnight crossing from Hull / Rotterdam the food was excellent: having said that I was only 12 at the time!

After a poor night’s sleep we were rudely awoken at 0730 by the deafening ‘tannoy’ system in the room basically telling us to get up. We carefully showered (the boat was rocking a bit), dressed and went to search out breakfast.

There was a massive queue at the ‘Bake ‘n’ Coffee Cafe’ but I waited and eventually bought an array of exorbitantly priced coffees, croissants and orange juices.

Entrance to Amsterdam was delayed as it was too rough for the pilot to board so he ended up arriving in style by helicopter…

We did have a bit of a struggle finding the car, arriving at the exact door where we exited the car deck, but the vehicle was nowhere to be seen. Further investigation (15 minutes) found that it had been hoisted to a different level and the entrance was in a totally obscure place.

Moral of the tale here. Fly, don’t drive and if you have to choose ferry, don’t use DFDS!

The Arctic Janus

The 600km drive to Eckernförde took 6.5 hours. As we passed Hamburg and drove up the E45 past Kiel, the excitement started to build. The pictures we had seen of the ship really struck a chord in us all and we were really looking forward to the visit. Very kindly, Wolfgang and Betty (the owners), had offered to show us around the ‘Janus’ and let us stay on-board on the Friday night to get a feel for the ship.

We arrived at the harbour in Eckernförde at about 1800. The last bit of navigation had to be done by good old fashioned map reading as Tom-Tom couldn’t deal with the address. Fortunately Wolfgang had sent us a map.

As the car pulled up at the quayside right by the ‘Janus’ Angela said “Simon, its a bloody ship!” Indeed, it looked very big and my first thought was how I would moor it up in a tight UK harbour! Joe led us up the short gangplank and was greeted by a very effusive Wolfgang. Before I could get a word in he told me that the heads were broken as the ‘Grundfos’ pump that powered the waste system had developed a leak due to a defective ‘O’ ring.

The forward watertight door led directly into the dining area which clearly is the heart of the ship. It looked well used but very homely and bigger than the pictures. We were greeted by Betty; within seconds coffee arrived quickly followed by wholesome German beer…

We were given an extensive guided tour of the ship which naturally included a visit to the engine room. I had been wondering what the green mass of pipes was in the pictures supplied; it was the hydraulic system, for driving the bow thruster and the anchor winches. Sorted. I understood everything else pretty well but was concerned with the two generators which were not soundproofed…

The main hold had been converted into a large ‘living space’ with the oak plank hull exposed. It looked good and a great addition to the vessel. The final leg was the bridge. This was large and well set out. The original radar unit was still fitted and made an impressive, albeit retro addition to the workmanlike setup. It was getting dark and lightly snowing so we decided to leave the outside till the morning.

Betty cooked us a lovely pasta and we ripped into the red wine. We talked for hours and had a really great time; Wolfgang and Betty are very interesting people.

Finally, time for bed. Angela and I slept in one of the forward deck level cabins, with Joe in an adjacent cabin. More room and more comfortable than the ferry…

The wind was quite severe in the night and the boat was rocking. Wolfgang told me he went out in the night to apply some washing up liquid to the mooring lines to prevent squeaking! We awoke early and I went to brew up. It was all comfortable and logical. I decided to take a shower and although the water took some time to warm up it eventually came through. There is no desalination plant aboard as the ship can carry 12,000L of fresh water. We all met up for breakfast again and then took a tour around the decks.

The boat was obviously well maintained but some areas did need painting. The 6.5m RIB was on the rear deck behind the bridge; it was covered so I couldn’t see the layout.

The anchor winches and windlass on the rear deck were all very impressive but my favourite was the beer lockers in the forecastle!

As the vessel had been standing for a few weeks Wolfgang wanted to fire up the engine. Joe and I went down below to watch the operation.

1. Turn off shore power
2. Start generators
3. Power up the compressor
4. Charge the low pressure banks (20 bar)
5. Start engine using a blast of compressed air

And indeed it started first time! The noise however was deafening; Wolfgang had forgotten to disengage the hydraulics for the bow thruster (driven by the main engine) which he had demonstrated to me the night before. A quick dash up to the bridge sorted the problem. Even without the hydraulics, the noise of the generators and the main engine was quite substantial. This would need to be addressed if we purchased the ship.

Betty left for work, we chatted more and then left Wolfgang to his vessel. Before leaving Eckernförde we had a look round. Really good place, a market with fresh local produce, a few interesting retailers and a load of bars. We settled for a typical German style lunch in a restaurant not far from the harbour area; plenty of meat and potatoes fried in bacon fat – lovely.

We journeyed back via Hamburg where we stayed on the Saturday evening. Very surprising and not at all what we expected. It’s full of high ticket designer retailers and loads of stylish young people. We unfortunately picked a rather disappointing restaurant as my preferred option ‘Das Weisse Haus’ was booked up. Definitely a place to visit again when we have more time.

The return home…

The journey to Ijmuiden the next day was pretty uneventful except for the lunch we endured.

Uncharacteristically we were early for the ferry and decided to have lunch before we boarded the boat. I had a look on the map and took a diversion off the motorway to a small village not far from Amsterdam.

Again looking at the satnav I saw a body of water thinking: where there is water there are boats, and where there are boats there are restaurants and bars!

Well I was right and opposite the marina was a very busy looking establishment. We were allocated a table by the pretty waitress who of course spoke perfect English. I had been warned before about Dutch food and relayed the message on to the team but even forewarned we ended up in trouble…

I thought I had ordered an omelette; Angela did order a chicken stir fry and Joe steak… You can’t bugger up an omelette can you? Well this was nothing short of inedible with this monstrosity arriving on very chemical tasting slices of white bread. Angela’s was even worse, tasting like the most appalling ‘cook in sauce’ imaginable. Anyway we paid the bill and quickly retreated to the boat.

Sailing was calm, cabin was better as on the way back we had a ‘Commodore Class’ cabin for three. The band were bored, the ‘cruise director’ was an outrageously bad ‘compère’, singer and dancer, the dancers stale, the drinks ludicrously expensive, the food crap and overpriced and passengers excessively pissed.

Rule #1: Never to go DFDS

The aftermath

After some discussion, we decided to have a go at this ship. If you are buying a car and you sent a full specification of what it was and a set of detailed photographs I suspect that any car dealer would give you a ‘rough estimate of cost’, similarly with an estate agent. I didn’t want to go to a full detailed survey that would cost several thousand pounds at this stage; we just wanted to check that we were in the right ballpark.

I called a number of surveyors in the UK specialising in wooden vessels. One of the guys I contacted was James McIlraith of Survey One who are marine surveyors and naval architects in Glasgow. I talked to him extensively and after taking a good look at the specification and pictures on the web he gave me a detailed response and a ballpark figure of £xxx,xxx (Editors note: I have removed the value due to threatened legal action – obviously correct then) the ship is advertised at €795,000!

I sent the mini report to the broker, Hugo Hein and Wolfgang. Hugo went absolutely bezerk. Here is a quote from his email response to me:

…just referring to a copy of a mail from somebody supposed to be a surveyor who has not even seen the ship or it’s certificates. Looks to me that he really needs some business.

Your way of handling things by referring to a ‘remote survey’ with more or less silly and incompetent comments looks to me like you are completely wasting our time on this issue. Think your trip to Eckernförde was more or less ‘wishful thinking’ – And I’m very sorry for not having asked you for a bank reference beforehand. Me and my colleagues would name you just another ‘tire kicker’.

Conversely, Wolfgang’s response showed he was upset, but dignified…

I honestly couldn’t believe these comments. It confirmed my feeling that ‘ship brokers’ were even worse than ‘estate agents’ (see my overview article). I think as a customer and seasoned businessman I am quite right to use a professional (James McIlraith lectures at Strathclyde University on the subject) to give me an erudite opinion. Even if he is adrift by 20% the differential is so large there is something seriously wrong…

Anyway, Hugo clearly has given Wolfgang and Betty an unrealistic expectation of the vessels value; probably telling them what they want to hear…

Rule #2. Don’t trust ship brokers…

Next, the Isle of Man boat registration but to see more pictures, visit my Flickr set

4 comments

1. Steve Nash on 21/06/08 at 1120 hours

   nice boat and love the writing style.  Living on a boat is someting I’ve always wanted to do.  I aim to retire to New Zeland at some point and always had the romantic dream of packing my stuff on a boat and watching as the UK disappears in the background as I sail away.  But do not have the backing of “the boss”.  good luck….

2. Simon Campbell on 05/07/08 at 0635 hours

   Thanks for the post.

   I am a very lucky man in that Angela is really into it. I am not sure she will be too keen when ploughing through heavy seas but lets see how it goes.

   Things have moved on a bit since this article. We have set up a diving exploration company (http://www.triton-oceanic.com) and its looking like we will be making a TV programme. Keep your eyes peeled…

3. Fidelity on 30/08/09 at 1246 hours

   Did it not worry you that that Janus have only one motor?

4. Simonski on 02/09/09 at 1243 hours

   These are very reliable heavy duty marine engines. Most issues can be fixed when at sea, if you know what you are doing!!!

You are currently reading:

“Finding a boat”

Chapters

• An overview…
• MV Chalice
• Arctic Janus
• Flagging Felicity?

I have always loved the sea and since my passion for Diving took a grip of our lives (this of course includes Angela – yep, by default she is also in the grip) we have considered buying a boat. As things have developed and the boys are now leaving home we think it’s an increasingly good idea.

People say that the two best days of your life are the day you buy and the day you sell. This may be true but what’s the worse thing that can happen?

Of course, in the usual Campbell gung-ho style, we don’t just want to sail on it we are going to live on it! The associated articles are a brief resume of our adventures to date…